You Just Don't Know
by Yumi Mihara
Summary: A very sad One-shot about Lei-Fang and Jann Lee. Just remember the grass always seems greener on the other side but don't take what you have for granted, you never know when you might lose it. Suicide isn't the answer to anything so don't do it, remember


A Dead or Alive fic based on Lei-Fang using the song Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park. I don't own DOA or LP.

You Just Don't Know-

_Memories consume, Like opening the wound, I'm picking me apart again_

She was tired of it, the pain, the suffering it all just kept hitting her over and over again. Jann Lee was disgusted with her,and would be even more disgusted if he found out about the baby, her father beat her sensless whenever she did something wrong, her teachers took advantage of her daily, and yet day after day she still lived. Whats the point, the thought echoed in her mind over and over again.

_You all assume, I'm safe here in my room, Unless I try to start again_

She rolled off the bed, wincing only momentarily at the pain, it would only take a minute. Again these thoughts echoed through her mind. Using the wall to help her up she waddled toward the mirror closet and stared at herself for a moment. Your useless, your disgusting, you cant do anything. Words all the ones she loved had said to her before, she glared angrily at her own reflection, smashing the mirror with her fist. Blood trickled down her hand as tiny shards glimmered here and there.

_I don't want to be the one, The battles always choose, Cause inside I realize, That I'm the one confused_

She breathed in calmly and walked into her bathroom. She rolled out some tissue and started dabbing her hand with them, but then she dropped it. What's the point, pain was something in her everyday life anyway what was a little more going to do.

_I don't know whats worth fighting for, Or why I have to scream_

She went back onto her bed and lay there staring out the window, just like everyother day. Pain itself trying to scream itself into her mind.

_I don't know why I instigate And say what I don't mean_

She incoheritly mumbled things over and over again. Not even listening to herself just letting every painstakingly second go by. It doesn't even matter, just let it all pass by, it'll all end eventually.

_I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright_

She stopped her consistent babbling and thought how this all happened. In just a few monthes her whole perfect world crashed leaving her with harsh cold reality. All she wanted now was numbness, but the stinging was still there.

_So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit, Tonight_

She saw people come and go but she was still there waiting. She was sick of it, sick of waiting, sick of just sitting there.

_Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door, I try to catch my breath again_

She stood up slowly, then staggered toward the bedroom door. Flinging it open she walked over to the kitchen and opened one of the cabinets. Fumbling with a few medicines she picked two and grabbed a knife from a drawer. Then she stumbled back to her bedroom locking the door and shutting the windows.

_I have much more, Than anytime before, I have no options left again_

She grabbed the medicines throwing the caps onto the floor and overdosed herself with them. She knew that the suffering might be long, but it would be worth it.

_I don't want to be the one, The battles only choose, Cause inside I realize, That I'm the one confused_

Leaning against the bed tears streamed down her face. She thought about Jann Lee and how he would never love her like she loved him. She thought about that if her baby was born he would suffer worse than the mother did. He didn't deserve that, she had to end it now, before he got into it.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for, Or why I have to scream_

Suddenly during her thoughts the pain of the overdose came full force. The pain and agony causing her to scream and lash out.

_I don't know why I instigate, And say what I don't mean_

Breaking all her vases and photos, all of her bedsheets and pillows ruined. Tearing everything apart inside and out.

_I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright_

Her thrashing taking her to the bathroom she see's herself in the mirror but then another bracket of pain suffeces causing her to fall.

_So I'm, Breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit, Tonight_

Crawling slowly back to her room she finds the knife. Grabbing hold of it with white knuckles, she closes her eyes tight.

_I'll paint it on the walls, Cause I'm the one at fault_

Slashing any part of her flesh she can find she bears her teeth in pain. Wrists, arms, legs, stomach, anything she can get a hold of.

_I'll never fight again, And this is how it ends_

She slowly moves into the fetal position. So this is it, she thought blissfully, it's almost here. Darkness surrounds her but she is at peace knowing that the numbness is almost there. Closing her eyes she thinks about the one thing that used to keep her going, the man of her dreams. "Jann Lee" She whispered the name leaving with her breath.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for, Or why I have to scream_

Jann Lee suddenly woke up with a start "Lei-Fang!" He yelled out in suprise. Realizing that it was just a horrible dream he walked to his kitchen, flipping on the TV as he started breakfast.

_But now I have some clarity, To show you what I mean_

Suddenly a news report came up, Dead Girl Found In House were the headlines. It showed the newscaster there standing before the body, it was none other than Lei-Fang. Jann Lee looked in shock dropping the pan he was holding.

_I don't know how I got this way, I'll never be alright_

Suddenly the doorbell rang, Jann Lee opened the door to see the mailman holding a letter out to him. Jann Lee quickly thanked the man ran over to his couch and opened it.

_So I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit, I'm breaking the habit_

He opened it to reveal a letter smelling strongly of Lei-Fang. Tears stung his eyes as he read.

Dear Jann Lee,

By the time you read this it'll be too late. I just sent this letter to tell you that it's better this way. The pain is all gone now, and all that is left is blissfull numbness. I just wanted you to know your baby is safe with me, he won't have to suffer the same way I did. Besides I know you'll be alot happier, no woman or child to tie you down. But putting all of that aside I would like to say Jann Lee I love you with all my heart so,

_Tonight_

Goodnight...

A very sad one-shot, I was inspired to write it after listening to Breaking the Habit and reading a couple of fanfics. Never take anything for granted, cause you never know when you'll lose it.


End file.
